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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
ok..just want someones opinion on weather or not you think thank you cards should be given out after a funeral..

before you vote, here are the facts concerning the situation..

1. She was in the hospital and nursing home, no1 called or sent flowers for the entire time, except for our neighbor, who was thanked.
2. The ICU staff who was instramental in getting me home from iraq and was in constant contact with my wife the whole time i was in transit, was thanked with an edible arrangement, and thank you note.
3. The nursing home staff who took care of her was thanked in the same manor as well..
4. The elder members, and some of the younger generations were upset that we chose cremation instead of the typical 3 day deal (2 day viewing, funeral, church, cemetary, and then after service luncheon) and criticized our decision and there was talk about not coming..i guess they thought we were gonna chuck her into a maxwell house coffee can..but my wife, myself, and my aunt made an outstanding display to include flowers rosarys and such..and when they finaly came they were like..oh..i didnt expect that..
4. In the obituary, we posted instead of flowers, make donations to the humane society or the church..
5.These people never made an attempt to do anything for her, through out her whole life ( my mother had special needs), now, im not saying to drive 2 hours to take care of her, but you know..if shes your neice or grand daughter, you know..

i think thats about it, i mean if anyone needs more clarification on anything, let me know..
 

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You only need to send Thank You cards to people who sent flowers or donations in her name as well as any priest/minister/ rabbi/etc.

By the way 1 day viewings are more the norm these days. Two day viewings are less common.
 

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When my mother passed we asked for donations to the cancer socity they then sent us a note that so and so made a donation in memory. Those people then got thank you cards from us. We thanked those that came to the services personaly, some of them also got cards for donating. Same deal with the staff at the home as you did
 

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If you know of people that sent in money for donations or setup church masses in the name of the deceased by all means I feel sending a little thank you is needed. Sending cards to everyone that was there is not needed. Dealing with the death of a loved one is hard to deal with and sending out thank yous to everyone that was in attendance is not what you or anyone wants to do. However showing thanks for those that supported you or ones that went out of their way is always nice.

When one dies its rather funny when people that should be there arnt. I have been to many funerals where key people were absent. I dont know it just kind of bothers me when people skip out. Im not saying someone that came in contact on occasion but people of importance. Really bothers me.

Standing in line greeting the family and offering condolances you always here..."Cousin Jimmy couldnt make it today because he has work" There is constantly the same people in our family that use that excuse. For god sakes if you dont wanna show up dont make an excuse.


Sorry for my rant


Sorry for your loss
 

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You thanked the one's that did the most for her. As other post's said if any one gave to the area's you requested them thank them.
 

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You seem to be putting a lot of emphasis on the fact that nobody wanted to be bothered with her when she was in the home...That pretty much tells us what your feelings are...If somebody sent flowers or something, send them a card...Anybody else, don't worry about it.
 

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just send them to the peopel you feel were thier for you during your loss no matter what you do you wont please everyone.
 

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Big Ken said:
You seem to be putting a lot of emphasis on the fact that nobody wanted to be bothered with her when she was in the home...That pretty much tells us what your feelings are...If somebody sent flowers or something, send them a card...Anybody else, don't worry about it.
+1

Also, I don't know about anyone else but when it comes to this type of situation (as far as giving a gift or paying a last respects) I personally don't/wouldn't expect or need a "Thank You"... there are too many other things to be taken care of by their family.
 

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Jock said:
+1

Also, I don't know about anyone else but when it comes to this type of situation (as far as giving a gift or paying a last respects) I personally don't/wouldn't expect or need a "Thank You"... there are too many other things to be taken care of by their family.
+2
 

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JasonN said:
Jock said:
+1

Also, I don't know about anyone else but when it comes to this type of situation (as far as giving a gift or paying a last respects) I personally don't/wouldn't expect or need a "Thank You"... there are too many other things to be taken care of by their family.
+2
+3
 
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