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I have to post this here...and it's a bit of a long read, but I felt like this fit spirit of the hunt well. I know many people are getting excited about the upcoming summer and fall, anxiously awaiting the day in September where we can go to the woods to hunt a deer. Me, I'm not looking forward to it at all this year...

I haven't been one this site much since the fall/winter. Many things have kept me away, mostly the fact that my wife and I moved and did not get a computer that really worked until just recently.

On April 1, my wife and I decided to surprise my family and drive home for the weekend. We live over 6 away from them, so we don't get there often. Well, we had an awesome weekend...Friday, we went out for my sisters birthday and spent the evening at a local bar, closing it down with some truly mild, yet fun memories. Saturday morning, dad and I cooked breakfast for the family. I went to bed at 4am, but he and my wife stayed up until after 7am talking. We've been married for 3 years, but this was the first time they had such a good conversation. My dad raved about it all morning and day to me. That morning, he and I cooked a breakfast big enough for an army, we spent the day together...the whole family, while my brother and I, who never speak actually got along.

Saturday evening, we went to dads favorite Chinese buffet. While we were waiting in the car for mom, I asked my dad why she seemed so upset. He responded "she worries about me and is mad that I was out drinking and up late, but I'll tell you this, I refuse to live my life on the sidelines. When the man upstairs calls, I'm going". That night, the whole family was together again...my sister and her family, my brother and his, mom and dad, and my wife and I. The 5 grandkids played in the other room Ike we all watched Syracuse lose 馃槙

I went to bed at 1130pm and at 1258am, my brother woke me up to say dad was going to the hospital. He has had CHF (congestive heart failure) for 21 years, since he was 40. For 9 years, he had a defibrillator, and the last 9 months, a pacemaker. He never let that stop him. He bragged that Friday about how he had walked 66 miles since Monday morning, as tracked by his Fitbit...he was always walking. He was losing weight, and he seemed so healthy.

I ran downstairs to see dad using an oxygen mask, still unable to breathe. I watched him walk, with EMT help, to the stretcher. He went into cardiac arrest 60 seconds later in the ambulance and they never got him back. They say it was a pulmonary embolism, brought on by his CHF...

I have no idea why we chose that weekend to surprise them with a visit, and I have no idea why we all were together until 11:30pm. however, we were all there...together as a family.

My dad and I haven't hunted together since 2001. He couldn't do the cold anymore. However, I NEVER went out hunting without talking to him as I was headed out...either in person, on the phone, or via text. Our conversation ALWAYS ended with him saying "Be Safe", and me saying "Always am..."

I don't know how I'm going to hunt this year without hearing him say that. For that simple reason, I have no desire to even be in he woods...I don't want to go out because I don't have him saying that. It [censored]...I wish I could have my dad back. 61 is far too young to die, but at the end of the day, I have to pray that he taught me enough over my 31 years of life to last until I journey home to the pearly gates.
 

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I'm sorry for your loss. I always think my Dad is putting on a drive that pushes that trophy buck to me. Stay strong my friend. I'm sure he would have wanted it that way.
 

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My condolences to you and your family. Thoughts and prayers and find the strength to get back out there.
Sounds like your father was a very fine man.
 

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Condolences for your loss.

I would bet your dad would want you out there, and now he doesn't need to text you. He'll be there.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thanks guys...

It's difficult. I know that I'm not thirst to lose his dad, but I surfed like it some days.

It's been hard the last 2 months, but I know where he is. He knew where he was headed...I've got some time to think about it though.
 

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Very sorry for your loss. My condolences and prayers for you and your family.

When you decide to get back out there, rest assured, he will be there with you.

Yesterday marked the 15th anniversary of my dad's death. Not a day goes by I don't think of him, and I feel his presence on every hunt. Especially when I'm back home and hunting the places we both cherished. Those days, and the memories they bring, are enough reason to want to be out there.
 

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Mikey...lost my dad on New Years Day 2010....everytime I hunt, he is with me. I talk to him all the time...funny...the only time I talk to him is when I am hunting. He will be with you, have no doubts about that. BTW...my dad lived his life just as yours did.
 

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Mikeymjr23 said:
I have to post this here...and it's a bit of a long read, but I felt like this fit spirit of the hunt well. I know many people are getting excited about the upcoming summer and fall, anxiously awaiting the day in September where we can go to the woods to hunt a deer. Me, I'm not looking forward to it at all this year...

I haven't been one this site much since the fall/winter. Many things have kept me away, mostly the fact that my wife and I moved and did not get a computer that really worked until just recently.

On April 1, my wife and I decided to surprise my family and drive home for the weekend. We live over 6 away from them, so we don't get there often. Well, we had an awesome weekend...Friday, we went out for my sisters birthday and spent the evening at a local bar, closing it down with some truly mild, yet fun memories. Saturday morning, dad and I cooked breakfast for the family. I went to bed at 4am, but he and my wife stayed up until after 7am talking. We've been married for 3 years, but this was the first time they had such a good conversation. My dad raved about it all morning and day to me. That morning, he and I cooked a breakfast big enough for an army, we spent the day together...the whole family, while my brother and I, who never speak actually got along.

Saturday evening, we went to dads favorite Chinese buffet. While we were waiting in the car for mom, I asked my dad why she seemed so upset. He responded "she worries about me and is mad that I was out drinking and up late, but I'll tell you this, I refuse to live my life on the sidelines. When the man upstairs calls, I'm going". That night, the whole family was together again...my sister and her family, my brother and his, mom and dad, and my wife and I. The 5 grandkids played in the other room Ike we all watched Syracuse lose 馃槙

I went to bed at 1130pm and at 1258am, my brother woke me up to say dad was going to the hospital. He has had CHF (congestive heart failure) for 21 years, since he was 40. For 9 years, he had a defibrillator, and the last 9 months, a pacemaker. He never let that stop him. He bragged that Friday about how he had walked 66 miles since Monday morning, as tracked by his Fitbit...he was always walking. He was losing weight, and he seemed so healthy.

I ran downstairs to see dad using an oxygen mask, still unable to breathe. I watched him walk, with EMT help, to the stretcher. He went into cardiac arrest 60 seconds later in the ambulance and they never got him back. They say it was a pulmonary embolism, brought on by his CHF...

I have no idea why we chose that weekend to surprise them with a visit, and I have no idea why we all were together until 11:30pm. however, we were all there...together as a family.

My dad and I haven't hunted together since 2001. He couldn't do the cold anymore. However, I NEVER went out hunting without talking to him as I was headed out...either in person, on the phone, or via text. Our conversation ALWAYS ended with him saying "Be Safe", and me saying "Always am..."

I don't know how I'm going to hunt this year without hearing him say that. For that simple reason, I have no desire to even be in he woods...I don't want to go out because I don't have him saying that. It [censored]...I wish I could have my dad back. 61 is far too young to die, but at the end of the day, I have to pray that he taught me enough over my 31 years of life to last until I journey home to the pearly gates.
Sorry for your loss.That's a tough deal.My father wasn't huge hunter but he always went with my brother and I.We spent most of our time trying to get him a deer and he usually did.Deer season was my favorite time of year because it was the only time the three of us really spent any time together.He died in 1997 at the age of 54.It was a tough pill for me to swallow because he was always in better physical shape than I was.After he died,my brother and I just started doing our own thing during hunting season.He'd hunt by his house and I never made the trip back to hunt.About 8 years after my father's death,I got a doe license for that county.On the first Saturday,I hiked to the top of the mountain in the pre-dawn where we used to hunt.It's tough to describe but I felt a strange presence that morning.It was a hard thing for me to do and it took several years for me to get up the guts to do it but I was glad I did it.Eventually,you move on and find new traditions to carry on but you'll never lose those memories.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Thanks all...I guess I'm just venting right now. Everyone on my family has told me that I need to go out, that dad wouldn't be happy I that me not hunting, but I just don't know.

I've got some time before I have to ,are that decision, but not a whole lot. I need to decide sooner rather than later.
 

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Sorry for your loss man, I am in the same boat. My dad passed away in February. We hunted together a lot, and even when we didn't go out together, we always talked. Each morning i was out he would text asking if i had seen anything. I know how you feel, i'm in the same boat. Not sure if i can do it, i know he would be [censored] but man its hard to think about not getting that text. So if you need to talk, hit me up.
 
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