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HELP ! Dealing with a friends BRAT child ! ? ? ?

600 Views 5 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  4x4dad
OK , here is the situation . My daughters mother has a nice older couple as friends . The older couples daughter apparently is going though some tough times . So the older couple has their daughters child ( their grand daughter ) quite often .

Here's the problem . The grand daughter is a brat . I'm sure it's a reflection of whatever is the problem at her parents household . But , because my daughters mother is friends with the grandparents , my daughter has to put up with this brat quite often as a playmate when the adults hang out together . In the near future they have an all day function which will cause my daughter to have to deal with this brat all day long . My daughters mother refuses to mention the bad behavior in the likely case it will offend the grandparents . I feel for my daughters dilemma , but what else can I say ? I hate to see what should be a fun filled day , remembered as a nightmare .
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I do not envy your situation. With that in mind the approach I would take is to speak with my daughter and let her know what the dangers are, what you find acceptable / unacceptable and that you expect her to not be influenced by this other kid. Maybe you should be the one to mention the bad behavior to the grandparents of the other kid and take the heat instead of your daughters mother? Let them be PO'd at you and keep your daughter safe and on your side.
To heck w/offending anyone. I've had kids hang out at my house on playdates w/my kids (ages 6 and 8) and a few of them were out of control. I'm friends w/the parents but when they showed up I told them straight up what went down even though it's a bit uncomfortable to do so. Better to nip it in the bud ASAP. Starting w/the parents. If that doesn't work, if it gets to the natural selection process and the kid is bullying, at times a good punch to the nose (from another kid), or the threat of one, can calm a kid down. I don't advocate this but saw it 1st hand w/my 6 yo daughter a few weeks ago. An older boy was terrorizing her and she finally called him on it. He got up in her face and she didn't back down- she looked him right in the eye and said "you know I'm not afraid of you, don't you?". That unnerved him. He left her alone after that and I'm glad he did b/c I'm pretty sure my daughter would have hurt him (she's pretty good at BJJ and has some amazing chokes and armbars and scraps w/boys older than him 3-4 times a week at BJJ class, and has been doing this since she was 4....). I pity the fool....

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Thanks guys . I figured I will have to talk to the grandfather . He & I get along pretty well . The grandparents are really good Christian people .
I reallly do feel bad for the young girl , but her manners are horrible . I'll have a talk with my daughter and try to smooth out her anxiety about the day . She's a pretty bright kid ( gets it from her moms side
) , so I'm sure we'll figure some way to save the day .
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How old is the child?
9 my daughter tells me . 1 year younger than her .
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