[ninebrats]

We all have memories of our hunting experiences.Some great ones,some not so great ones and some that are just funny as [censored] and I have experienced all of them.I want to touch on one of the funny ones.
2 years ago my son and I were walking through the woods to get to our spot that we had picked out.On the way there I was 30 or so yards ahead of him and the next thing I heard was him shooting.I turned around to see if he had hit what he was shooting at.As luck would have it,not onlydid he miss,but somehow had broke his belt and his pants were down at his knees.As I stood there I could here him mumbling and cursing up a storm.I said,"Dave,what happened?" He said he missed the 8 pointer.Then I said "what about your pants?" By then his face was red as an apple and said "This isn't funny."(Geez,if only had a video camera that day)
He's never going to forget that day as long as I'm hunting with him.

 

[Trailcamologist]

I got a pretty funny one from a few years back:

My best bud and I were hunting bear near Medix Run and after a long day we met up at the truck to head back to camp. A few miles down the road after the heater kicked in, I was overwhelmed by the smell of a terrible fart! it was bad, real bad and wasn't getting any better!!
bad enough that we had to stop the truck and vacate to keep from gettin sick

so after a few minutes my best bud, who shall remain nameless found a big smear of you know what on his seat, then more on his armrest and even more on the steering wheel. Seems just before quitting time he had answered he call of nature and didn't quite get his drawers all the way down

.

needless to say it was a long ride back to camp with the windows down. this story gets rehashed every season and ol Trav will never live it down

 

[Ghost]

OMG that stinks, litteraly. Years ago 3 of us were out camping and the one guy went to answer the call of nature, he had on bib overalls and had to drop them down, well he didnt account for the clearence of the bibs, and when he hoisted them back over he got covered in what he just left, toilet paper and all.

 

[Buckethead]

I had been out trying to push deer for dad and my uncle. When I arrived to my dad's stand, I found my uncle standing there and saw the drag marks where my dad took his deer out. I also saw the hood from his hunting suit on the ground but just thought it kept getting in his way so he took it off. My uncle never said a word. My dad returned a short time later, and started relaying the story of how he got the deer.

Him: "See that log over there?"

Me:"Yeah"

Him: " Well,I really had to take a dump, badly".

Me: "Okay"

Him:"Well, you see my hood on the ground over there?"

Me: "Don't tell me. you s*!% in your hood!"

My dad had answered the call of nature and went back to his seat. He was wearing one piece coverhauls with a zip off hood. Every time he turned his head to the right, he could smell pooh. This went on for awhile. He kept checking his boots thinking he had stepped in it. A big doe walked by, he shot her and when he pulled his arms out of his suit and pulled the back around to get his tag, he found the source of the smell. Right there nestled in his hood was a nice, big lumpkin. He took his hood off and washed it out in the stream near his stand.

To my uncle's credit, my dad had sworn him to secrecy and my uncle never said a word the whole time we were standing there waiting for my dad to get back. Once dad let the cat out of the bag, Uncle Ben was laughing hysterically and repeating his usual saying, "If it wasn't for you kids and your mother, I wouldn't have anything to do with him!"

 

[Banjoman]

Funny stuff! Those stories paint a picture. I love it.

Fathers seem to be the center of alot of hysterical moments out there.

Mine? He saw the opportunity to teach his two young sons, the "proper method of dispatching wounded game." In this case, it was a squirrel I had a few BB's in. I thought a cut to the throat would suffice but alas...I was the student...and I observed the master.

With both our eyes locked on Dad, he proceeded to demonstrate his "dispatch" by grabbing said squirrel by the tail, extending his hand and arm out while saying

"All you need is one quick chop to the back of the neck." He lined up a few practice swings with his hand and let 'er rip.

The Squirrel swung up...and clung to my dads arm as he flailed it furiously, dancing and cursing, trying to shake the tree rat as it climbed feebly up his arm.

My brother and I stood there and watched a valuable lesson unfold before our eyes. He ended up using a knife! Can't wait to show my son that one!

 

[Adam K]

Banjoman that actually put tears in my eyes.

I had a friend try to swing his turkey like a bat off a tree a few years ago instead of stepping on it's neck. Now I have seen some ridiculous things but I couldn't do anything but get down on my knees and laugh until I cried, I couldn't even breathe. I mean we hunted together for years and took many turkeys together and he never showed me this procedure. Maybe that beer league softball is getting to him!

 

[hunt/fish365]

Ever notice a lot of these stories are centered around poop?

About 12 years ago or so my brother and I were hunting archery early in the season. Around mid-day my brother informs me he has to go. I said why don't you just go home? It's only about a half mile or so. He wouldn't hear of it. He takes care of nature, and as he goes to pull up his pants he slipped. You guessed it. He fell backwards, and when he tried to catch himself from falling to the ground put his right hand right in it. All I heard was him cursing from behind the tree. I said to him. Now it looks like your going home.

 

[nozzlehead]

Alright, if you can't laugh at yourself...

1) Myself & a buddy were coming out of the woods one afternoon after scouting. As I stepped over this log it happened. I had put my left foot over first & when I did I stepped on this stick which popped up to the right of me. When I swung my right leg over the log I drove this stick right into my boot laces. Now that my legs were stuck apart, I'm tyring to get my right foot back on the ground as I'm hopping on one foot trying to unstick the stick when I finally just slowly fell over. My buddy was laughing so hard he had to sit down.

2) Another guy I hunt with had a problem with takin' a dump in the woods. He & another were at camp bow hunting one year when it happened. They were getting out of the truck one morning when the urge hit him. He decides to drive back to camp & do his business & then head back out. Well he drives back, squeezing his cheeks, doing his best, but it must have been the sound of the key hitting the door knob on the cabin,

because that's when he expolded. I got there that afternoon to find longjohns dripping from the line & 1/2 burned underwear in the camp fire. These days he has no problem coppin' a squat!

 

[nozzlehead]

If you make fun of yourself first then it's alright to poke at others...right!?

 

[highlander59]

1979 the day my son was born.call at camp around 1:30 we just went to bed.shes haveing it.jumped out of bed got there she had it.now it is the first day.he was born around 7:30.you can go come back.so i went. you all seen the guy sleeping beside the tree with the deer looking at him.thats what happened to me friends seen it.laught there rears off.and it was nice buck.looking back it was the best day of my life he was born now have grandson is hunting now ohhhhhh they where the days

 

[pumpgun]

With both our eyes locked on Dad, he proceeded to demonstrate his "dispatch" by grabbing said squirrel by the tail, extending his hand and arm out while saying

"All you need is one quick chop to the back of the neck." He lined up a few practice swings with his hand and let 'er rip.

The Squirrel swung up...and clung to my dads arm as he flailed it furiously, dancing and cursing, trying to shake the tree rat as it climbed feebly up his arm.

My brother and I stood there and watched a valuable lesson unfold before our eyes. He ended up using a knife! Can't wait to show my son that one!

this was my dads method too. and precisely why i always carry my 22 revolver now when squirrel hunting. them things can really bite.

 

[Mike M.]

Doe season 1978.My cousin and I were about 14.My two Uncles take us to the old coal strippens,to an area we called the finger{now don't anyone think this is obscene}My cousin goes with his Dad,to one part and my Uncle takes me to the lower end.OK,about an hour goes by I here my cousin and Uncle open up.Not long after 3 doe head our way and I kill one.Then we here yelling my uncle yelling at my cousin.It turns out my Uncle and cousin were sitting side by side,but looking in opposite directions my spotted the deer and whispered to his Dad saying here they come. My Uncle being hard of hearing did not here him so whe cuz opened up my Uncle jumped straight up in the air.Being startled he thought my cousin was being unsafe with his gun and it went off not seeing the deer he started yelling.untill he realised after I shot that cuz was actually shooting at deer.When we got back to camp everyone got agood laugh out of that one.

 

[dstewart]

my grandfather , who cannot hunt enymore, was spring turkey hunting with myself and dad a good number of years ago. he had one of those walker game ears due to loosing his hearing. while sitting along the tree i noticed my grandfather looking up to the sky often but not saying a word. then out of nowhere he jumps up from the tree movving as fast as he can. well by the time we go settled back down and figuring out what happened he claimed he thought he could hear a helocopter in a the distance a few times then out of nowhere it sounded like it was going to land on his head. it was a bumblebee that did a couple fly bys before getting real close to the game ear. sure made a slow day interesting

 

[Cabinfreak]

This storie was in sullivan county,it was myself my uncle and friend we were done spring gobbler hunting and we met up at the top of the moutain so we started down the mountain we were about half way down and decide to take a break so we sat on a dead log that all three of us fit on,We were shooting the breeze and I kept kicking the log with my foot well about 2 minutes goes by and all the sudden my uncle jumps up off the log saying ouch,ouch and swating at some thing all the sudden my friend starts doing the same thing,Here there was a bees nest in the log they both started running,After it was all over they both got stung around 7-8 times each and I didnt get it once and I was the one kicking the log

 

[SevenMM08]

A few years ago a couple of us were walking out across a mountain top in mixed laurel. This was some bushes about 12 feet high while others are about waist high or slightly lower. This day was also very cold and extremely windy. We had about 8 inches of snow on the ground and the temp was probably around 10-15 degrees.

So my one buddy is plowing through like a bull dozer when the rest of us heard it. A long string of cuss words that would have made any sailor proud. Also note that this particular buddy refuses to replace clothing until it is literally falling off and walking around by itself. Most of the time he looks like a homeless person walking around the woods.

The other key part of this story is that our very upset buddy is wearing his favorite pair of wool pants. Actually at the time I think it was his only pair of pants. As we all turn around to try and figure out what’s going on he is staring at his pants with the look of a crazed lunatic.
He had caught a laurel branch in his wool pants right below the crotch. Instead of backing up a little bit he just yanked hard figuring these pants could take anything. Sure enough they ripped all the way from the crotch down to the bottom hem. I thought for a minute he may have actually castrated himself as well.

For the rest of the day he walked around the mountains with this huge flapping wool pant leg. When the wind picked up it almost looked like a boat sail. Every time we stopped on the mountain we would all laugh until we couldn’t breathe (except for Mr. One Leg). All he could do was mumble about how cold his leg was and that now he needed new pants.

 

[BVboy]

1998 Burnsville Lake WV. 4:30 AM.
We would go around the lake by boat and hunt a hollow about a 4 mile ride up the lake. Fog covered the lake pretty heavy. Not long after we started down the lake, glub glub the engine stops. Now were spining around in the fog, in the dark.
So, the fellow in the back gets down on one knee and does the pump thing and vroom off we go. Much slower, cause we could not see very far in the fog. Found the shore line and found the channel. glub glub engine dies again. Guy in back does the pump thing again, same result. Before the fellow in the back sat back down, he noticed that what he was sitting on, was sitting on the gas line.
Had a lot of fun on those trips, the morning and evening boat ride added to the trip.