[PossumBackstrap]

Anyone have their favorite Chuck Norris saying?

Mine is "Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs."

Here's a webiste of Chuck Norris facts, it's funny as heck
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

 

[MOFO1]

Strap...You're a twisted genius.

 

[john1951]

They're just plain funny........ /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thumbs.gif

 

[mgp629]

Chuck norris challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles" contest and won by five.The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.One the first Christmas Chuck Norris was one of the Wise Men and he brought the gift of beard.

 

[MOFO1]

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.---That's funny right there, I don't care who you are, that's funny.

I now see why Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley broke up. Chuck beat Billy into submission...then went back to was using his Gravity Edge.

 

[PossumBackstrap]

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

 

[mgp629]

. When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.

 

[mgp629]

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
(Sorry I was just told to get this story right or die!)

 

[mgp629]

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

 

[Everyday Hunter]

These are rich!

"Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever."

"Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick."

"According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday."

"If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris."

"Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow."

And finally, I never realized this was true: "Chuck Norris puts the laughter in mans<u>laughter</u>." /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jestera.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jestera.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jestera.gif

Lots of good ones.

Steve

 

[Everyday Hunter]

Where does Chuck Norris write? Anywhere he wants.

I just ran across a column written by Chuck Norris and started a new thread on it in our Universal Forum at HuntingPA.com. Check it out. It's no fable.

Steve

 

[mgp629]

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity TWICE!

 

[johnny z]

DUMB

 

[ruger1]

[ QUOTE ]
DUMB

[/ QUOTE ]

C'mon, even if you think it is childish or silly, it is funny.
Ruger1

 

[mgp629]

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

 

[mgp629]

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
Chuck Norris's firt job was a paperboy... there were no survivors.

 

[JoeSlab]

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

I love chuck norris quotes I dont know where people come up with some of this stuff

 

[Paflyfisher]

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

 

[rebelhunter]

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

and

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

and heres a website
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

 

[rebelhunter]

hahah i forgot about this one

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost