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Discussion Starter #1
What started out as a normal day, almost ended in tragedy, but thanks to HPA forums and a squirrel I am here to tell my story.
Every day I wake up, go to Dunkin Donuts, grab a cup of coffee and go in the woods to scout. If I don't have my coffee I will die, but it has to be with cream or else I just can't drink it.
After getting to my parking area, I grabbed my coffee and started walking, the area is a couple of miles back but usually they're a lot of birds back there. Being that it was cold this morning I walked pretty quickly and worked up a good sweat. What usually takes almost an hour to get to took only 30 minutes so I waited in the dark for a good 20 minutes waiting for the first bird to sound off. Just as daylight cracked and a couple of birds gobbled, I took a big sip of coffee and new something was terribly wrong.
In a panic, I ripped the Styrofoam lid off my cup and what I saw sent shivers up my spine. Instead of seeing the light color of coffee with cream I saw a 24 OZ abyss of black. The man put no cream in my coffee.
For most of you this would be know big deal, but I have a caffeine addiction. When I want coffee I have to have it but it has to have cream in it or I can't drink it. Trying to stay calm, but knowing the end was probably close, I got on my hands and knees and decided to say a little prayer to my maker and that's when I saw it. Not 20ft over my head was a squirrel's nest. Having read through 9 pages on HPA about seasons start dates, reasons for vs against etc. one thing stuck in my head. LACTATING SQUIRREL'S.
Since I had scouted this area out I knew where a tree stand is that had climbing sticks to get in it. Moving the sticks to the nest now made it possible for me to reach the nest. As I started climbing the tree I could hear noises in the nest so I knew that my plan just might work.
Reaching in to the nest, it seemed that the squirrel realized I wasn't there to harm her, but that I needed her help. The mother squirrel let me pick her up, carry her down the tree and let me squeeze out about an ounce of milk for my coffee. I carried her up the tree and back to her nest without the little ones even knowing I was there. Sitting on a log after all this happened, now enjoying my coffee I came to the realization that if it wasn't for that squirrel or HPA I probably wouldn't be here right now telling my story.
 

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Sure, now baby squirrels will die of starvation and you will probably wind up nuts from squirrel milk, not a happy ending! All because you can't man up and drink black coffee.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Ok guys this is the deal, when I was reading the "no September opener" and saw the response about lactating squirrels I laughed so hard I had coffee all over everything. I would of never have thought of that as a reason why there wouldn't be an early season. When I cleaning up my wife asked about cream for coffee and I started laughing so I figured I would try to make someone else laugh on a Sunday afternoon
 

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John S said:
Sure, now baby squirrels will die of starvation and you will probably wind up nuts from squirrel milk, not a happy ending! All because you can't man up and drink black coffee.
John if I went back and hunted there this fall could there be any baiting issues?
 

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TOO LATE! You sir, will be forever marked on this site as "The squirrel milker" (or perhaps worse if someone thinks of something worser). There may be a sign posted in your front yard to this effect within the next few days. Oh, the humanity! I kid, I kid because I love.....
 

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pete65 said:
What started out as a normal day, almost ended in tragedy, but thanks to HPA forums and a squirrel I am here to tell my story.
Every day I wake up, go to Dunkin Donuts, grab a cup of coffee and go in the woods to scout. If I don't have my coffee I will die, but it has to be with cream or else I just can't drink it.
After getting to my parking area, I grabbed my coffee and started walking, the area is a couple of miles back but usually they're a lot of birds back there. Being that it was cold this morning I walked pretty quickly and worked up a good sweat. What usually takes almost an hour to get to took only 30 minutes so I waited in the dark for a good 20 minutes waiting for the first bird to sound off. Just as daylight cracked and a couple of birds gobbled, I took a big sip of coffee and new something was terribly wrong.
In a panic, I ripped the Styrofoam lid off my cup and what I saw sent shivers up my spine. Instead of seeing the light color of coffee with cream I saw a 24 OZ abyss of black. The man put no cream in my coffee.
For most of you this would be know big deal, but I have a caffeine addiction. When I want coffee I have to have it but it has to have cream in it or I can't drink it. Trying to stay calm, but knowing the end was probably close, I got on my hands and knees and decided to say a little prayer to my maker and that's when I saw it. Not 20ft over my head was a squirrel's nest. Having read through 9 pages on HPA about seasons start dates, reasons for vs against etc. one thing stuck in my head. LACTATING SQUIRREL'S.
Since I had scouted this area out I knew where a tree stand is that had climbing sticks to get in it. Moving the sticks to the nest now made it possible for me to reach the nest. As I started climbing the tree I could hear noises in the nest so I knew that my plan just might work.
Reaching in to the nest, it seemed that the squirrel realized I wasn't there to harm her, but that I needed her help. The mother squirrel let me pick her up, carry her down the tree and let me squeeze out about an ounce of milk for my coffee. I carried her up the tree and back to her nest without the little ones even knowing I was there. Sitting on a log after all this happened, now enjoying my coffee I came to the realization that if it wasn't for that squirrel or HPA I probably wouldn't be here right now telling my story.
I love it
 

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John S said:
Sure, now baby squirrels will die of starvation and you will probably wind up nuts from squirrel milk, not a happy ending! All because you can't man up and drink black coffee.
I hate black coffee too I think it's bitter..HEY
Is that why you're so bitter John?
 

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Good thing the squirrel season stayed as is, or else she may not have been so forgiving and helped you out when you grabbed her
 

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You should have read further on HPA you would have found out how bad our forests were in due to overbrowsing by our out of control deer herd. You would have realized how hard it was for mother squirrel to get enough nutrition to produce that milk. Oh wait you said you walked 30 min. back in. Now I know you were in a depleted area cause Pa. hunters are to lazy to walk back that far. Are you sure your telling the truth? I don't know this sounds a little squirrely for sure.
 

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The fact that I found this to be one of the funniest posts that I have ever read on this site confirms it.... I need the name of your therapist Pete.
 
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