The 28 Stages of Fan Grief
1. Breaking things.
2. Saying that everyone should be FIRED and TRADED!
3. Saying that you knew this team SUCKED all along!
4. Posting things on social media about how everyone should be FIRED and TRADED and that you knew they SUCKED all along and that youíre sick of this CRAP!
5. Calming down a little and realizing itís not realistic for everyone to be FIRED and TRADED. But saying that the coaching staff definitely has to go and at least 10 of the players.
6. Just sitting there and blankly staring for a minute or two.
7. Briefly wondering how you let a sports team composed of people youíve never met playing a completely meaningless game dictate your emotions. Then getting so [censored] OFF again.
8. Saying that they just didnít want it enough.
9. Saying that youíre done with this team until CHANGES ARE MADE.
10. Knowing deep inside that youíll still watch the first game next season no matter what happens between then and now.
11. Posting something on social media again about how the coach [censored].
12. Texting back your friend who texted you to make fun of your team losing to !!*@#!&*[email protected]
and that his team [censored] even worse.
13. Watching some TV to get your mind off it, but not really watching. Just kind of staring at whatever is on the screen.
14. Flipping through the channels and seeing the start of a highlights package of your team losing.
15. Quickly shutting off the TV and muttering curse words on your way to bed.
16. Taking your team jersey/t-shirt off and hurling it into the dirty clothes pile
17. Going to sleep.
18. Waking up and instantly remembering your team [censored].
19. Checking your phone to see if the coach has been fired yet.
20. Posting on social media that you canít believe the coach hasnít been fired yet.
21. Texting a friend a trade idea that you think could work but would never be agreed to by another team in a million years.
22. Avoiding all national media coverage about your team getting eliminated. They hated your team from the start anyway, so screw them.
23. Eating breakfast and realizing youíre going to deal with people at school/work who will make fun of you for your team losing.
24. Reminding yourself to tell them that their teams suck, too.
25. Looking online at all the free agents available this offseason.
26. Thinking up more trade ideas.
27. Getting kind of excited for what the team could look like next year.
28. Putting some team apparel on because youíre not one of those fairweather fans and you know brighter days are ahead. days are ahead.