I read it last night....sounds like something A LOT of Penna. hunters go through.
I carry my Dad's .308. There are many times when I am on stand that I sit and stare at the gun and let my mind go back.
My advice to you would be to go and get your dad's jacket, (or something else that would remind you of him), and start and carry it. Respecting their memory can be painful, but it is the right thing to do.
Good luck this season.
“I prefer my kid hunt and fish rather than steal and deal,”