Chuck Norris/Paul Bunyan Quotes - The HuntingPA.com Outdoor Community
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post #1 of 65 (permalink) Old 12-20-2006, 11:13 AM Thread Starter
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Chuck Norris/Paul Bunyan Quotes

Anyone have their favorite Chuck Norris saying?

Mine is "Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs."

Here's a webiste of Chuck Norris facts, it's funny as heck
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

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post #2 of 65 (permalink) Old 12-20-2006, 12:27 PM
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Re: Chuck Norris/Paul Bunyan Quotes

Strap...You're a twisted genius.

My eyes hurt. Just deal the cards.
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post #3 of 65 (permalink) Old 12-20-2006, 08:12 PM
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Re: Chuck Norris/Paul Bunyan Quotes

They're just plain funny........ [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thumbs.gif[/img]

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post #4 of 65 (permalink) Old 12-21-2006, 01:19 AM
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Re: Chuck Norris/Paul Bunyan Quotes

Chuck norris challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles" contest and won by five.The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.One the first Christmas Chuck Norris was one of the Wise Men and he brought the gift of beard.
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post #5 of 65 (permalink) Old 12-21-2006, 03:21 PM
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Re: Chuck Norris/Paul Bunyan Quotes

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.---That's funny right there, I don't care who you are, that's funny.

I now see why Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley broke up. Chuck beat Billy into submission...then went back to was using his Gravity Edge.

My eyes hurt. Just deal the cards.
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post #6 of 65 (permalink) Old 12-21-2006, 03:42 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Chuck Norris/Paul Bunyan Quotes

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

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post #7 of 65 (permalink) Old 12-22-2006, 01:41 AM
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Re: Chuck Norris/Paul Bunyan Quotes

. When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
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post #8 of 65 (permalink) Old 12-22-2006, 10:21 AM
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Re: Chuck Norris/Paul Bunyan Quotes

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
(Sorry I was just told to get this story right or die!)
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post #9 of 65 (permalink) Old 12-22-2006, 10:24 AM
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Re: Chuck Norris/Paul Bunyan Quotes

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
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post #10 of 65 (permalink) Old 12-29-2006, 12:44 AM
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Re: Chuck Norris/Paul Bunyan Quotes

These are rich!

"Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever."

"Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick."

"According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday."

"If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris."

"Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow."

And finally, I never realized this was true: "Chuck Norris puts the laughter in mans<u>laughter</u>." [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jestera.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jestera.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jestera.gif[/img]

Lots of good ones.

Steve

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