Unofficial joke of the day 12/7 - The HuntingPA.com Outdoor Community
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-07-2019, 11:40 AM Thread Starter
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Unofficial joke of the day 12/7

Christmas Party

December 1...To All Employees

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will be held
on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of
spiked eggnog and a small band will play traditional carols...feel free
to sing-along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as
Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree.

Exchanging gifts among employees can be done at this time. Please
remember to keep gifts to the agreed $10 limit.

Merry Christmas to you and yours,

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

------------------------------------------------------------------------

December 2...To All Employees

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday and
often coincides with Christmas (although not this year). However, from
now on we're calling this party our Holiday Party. The same policy also
applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There
will be no tree or Christmas carols sung.

Happy holidays to you and yours.

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

------------------------------------------------------------------------

December 3...To All Employees

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate
your request but please remember that if I put a sign on the table that
reads "AA Only" you won't be anonymous any more.

In addition, we'll no longer be having a gift exchange because union
members feel that $10 is too much money.

Patti Lewis, Human Resources Director

------------------------------------------------------------------------

December 7...To All Employees

I have arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest
away from the dessert table and for pregnant members to sit closest to
the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not
have to sit with gays; each group will have its own table. And, yes,
there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table.

Happy now?

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

------------------------------------------------------------------------

December 9...To All Employees

People! People! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to
play Santa Claus. Even if the anagram for "Santa" does happen to be
"Satan." There is no evil connation to our own little "man in a red
suit."

Patti Lewis, Human Resources Director

------------------------------------------------------------------------

December 10...To All Employees

Vegetarians! I've had it with you people. We're holding this party at
Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not. You can just sit
at the table farthest from the "Grill of Death" as you call it, and
you'll get salad bar only including hydroponics tomatoes. Tomatoes have
feelings too, you know. They scream when you slice them. I can hear
them now. I hope you have a rotten holiday. Drive drunk and die, you
hear me?

-***********************----------------------------------------------------------------------

December 14...To All Employees

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to
her at the sanitarium. In the meantime management has decided to cancel
the Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with
full pay.

Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-07-2019, 12:03 PM
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How does Patti open the get well soon cards when she is wearing a straight jacket?

Bigfoot saw me but nobody believes him!
5D
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-07-2019, 12:19 PM
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-07-2019, 04:11 PM
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Now that we have the afternoon of the 23rd off, I’m going to Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. Anybody want to join me?
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It’s funny until somebody gets hurt, then it’s hilarious
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-07-2019, 04:30 PM
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Where's Bates?
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File Type: jpg FB_IMG_1575750508028_1575750628468.jpg (31.4 KB, 3 views)

Bigfoot saw me but nobody believes him!
5D
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-09-2019, 10:58 AM
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What ever happened to the Christmas parties where everyone was feeling Mary.
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-09-2019, 11:04 AM
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when Mary left they jump for Joy
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-09-2019, 11:06 AM
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Mary left, the feelings overwhelmed her

Support 2A. Because a dog without teeth has no bite.
Being married is work. Work is management and labor. We all know how well management and labor get along.
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-09-2019, 12:38 PM
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Beenthere left with Neal and Bob...

Bigfoot saw me but nobody believes him!
5D
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