Teacher can't count. 5 marks and checked 5 correct but only got +2 credit. Johnny's parents file grievance against school district and teacher for discrimination. Teacher says Johnny is always a problem in class but failed to document instances. Principle said Johnny's parents were called in several times but failed to show. Parents said this is the first time they ever heard of this. So little Johnny takes his case to court.
Little Johnny has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible. Little Johnny surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, Johnny cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing Johnny to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Pittsburgh Pirates, whom Little Johnny firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.