Cynical philosopher - The HuntingPA.com Outdoor Community
 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-19-2017, 02:35 PM Thread Starter
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Cynical philosopher

Cynical Philosopher...

♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?:

♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

♦ America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.

♦ Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

♦ I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

♦ Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.

♦ You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.

♦ If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

♦ I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, ďHere, fill this out?Ē

♦ My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. Iím pretty sure she was hitting on me.

♦ My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and Iím worried about the 175 pounds Iíve gained since then.

♦ Dennyís has a slogan, ďIf itís your birthday, the meal is on us.Ē If youíre in Dennyís and itís your birthday, your life sucks!

♦ The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. Iím pretty sure sheís going to get me something.

♦ The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-19-2017, 03:16 PM
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Woods walker read down about a half dozen threads "Something to ponder" see any familiarity in that..
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-19-2017, 08:10 PM
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"I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?"

Maybe someone like the Feminist last month, who married herself?

ďThere is Truth in the Old Saying, That if you make yourself a Sheep, the Wolves will eat you.Ē
Benjamin Franklin, 1773
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-19-2017, 08:20 PM
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Just wait until Lostagain sees this.

Itís funny until somebody gets hurt, then itís hilarious
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-20-2017, 07:28 AM Thread Starter
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I didn't see that. Oh well, it was so nice, it was posted twice.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-20-2017, 07:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Woods walker View Post
I didn't see that. Oh well, it was so nice, it was posted twice.
You can say that again!

William will you teach me how to write, Cassius will you show me how to fight.
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