Something to ponder - The HuntingPA.com Outdoor Community
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-16-2017, 03:00 PM Thread Starter
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Something to ponder

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?



Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.



I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.



If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.



I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.



When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.



A recent study has found that woman who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.



Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?



America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.



You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.



Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?



My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.



I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.



Money talks ....but all mine ever says is good-bye.



You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.



If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.



I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, ďHere, fill this out?Ē



I canít understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older womenís clothing line named, ďSag Harbor.Ē



My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. Iím pretty sure she was hitting on me.



My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and Iím worried about the 175 pounds Iíve gained since then.



Dennyís has a slogan, ďIf itís your birthday, the meal is on us.Ē If youíre in Dennyís and itís your birthday, your life stinks!



The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. Iím pretty sure sheís going to get me something.



The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.



I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.



Money canít buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!



The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
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Plenty of scouting and good habitat makes for a great hunt.

Jeff
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-16-2017, 04:00 PM
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I want to report a break in at the JOTD. Lostagain broke into the vault and has stolen the archives. Is nothing sacred anymore? Oh, the humanity! Captain Ron. Calling Captain Ron.
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Itís funny until somebody gets hurt, then itís hilarious
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-16-2017, 04:12 PM
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I tried to warn you about the combination on that safe....
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-16-2017, 05:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RonM View Post
I tried to warn you about the combination on that safe....
You could reverse it to 12 ,nobody would figure that one out.

"Lazy people think of the easy way to do the hard stuff"
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-16-2017, 06:01 PM
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Originally Posted by RonM View Post
I tried to warn you about the combination on that safe....


I'm gonna have to one of them security alarms bucksnort is selling. He left a brochure on my kitchen table. He also helped himself to a sandwich with yellow mustard.
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Itís funny until somebody gets hurt, then itís hilarious

Last edited by dc 21; 11-16-2017 at 06:07 PM.
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-16-2017, 06:22 PM
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Was it that Great Value yellow mustard or some other brand..
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-17-2017, 07:03 PM
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Originally Posted by dc 21 View Post
I'm gonna have to one of them security alarms bucksnort is selling. He left a brochure on my kitchen table. He also helped himself to a sandwich with yellow mustard.
I guess You don't have spicy brown mustard either?
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ďThere is Truth in the Old Saying, That if you make yourself a Sheep, the Wolves will eat you.Ē
Benjamin Franklin, 1773
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-17-2017, 07:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LostAgain View Post
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
That's funny right there!
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-18-2017, 07:24 AM
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Of course it's funny! It's a former JOTD!
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Itís funny until somebody gets hurt, then itís hilarious
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-18-2017, 05:14 PM
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Must be the difference in delivery.
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Shoot straight

People are sick of politicians, and me, I hate cats in the house.
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