Joke of the Day 8/27/17 - The HuntingPA.com Outdoor Community
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-27-2017, 08:35 AM Thread Starter
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Joke of the Day 8/27/17

The Philosophy of Ambiguity FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE
PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF
ENGLISH:

1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE
SWEATY THINGS.

2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE
KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN,
"WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF
SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH
HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL
HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT
ALL?"

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING
AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS
WAGES?

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID
SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR
NAKED?

17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE
RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK
MACHINES?

20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE
YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT
OTHER PEOPLE.

23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?

24.

25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN
TOO?

27. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE
HUNGRY?

28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO
HAVE 'S' IN IT?

30. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS"
INSTEAD OF "ASTEROIDS"?

31. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT
THEM?

32. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR
CREAM?

33. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES,
DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?

34. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF
GOD?

Itís funny until somebody gets hurt, then itís hilarious
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-27-2017, 09:42 AM
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We want answers!


William will you teach me how to write, Cassius will you show me how to fight.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-27-2017, 11:52 AM
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35. see 24.

36. IF NO ONE LAUGHS, IS IT STILL CONSIDERED A JOKE?
bad primer likes this.

Shoot straight

People are sick of politicians, and me, I hate cats in the house.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-27-2017, 12:18 PM Thread Starter
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I'm asceered to print number 24.

Itís funny until somebody gets hurt, then itís hilarious
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