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post #21 of 37 (permalink) Old 08-07-2015, 03:42 PM
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Re: divorce

Quote:
Originally Posted by AgesofDays
has anyone one gone through a divorce that can offer some advice?
Advise: If there is a chance to save the marriage I would recommend to do so...use professionals if necessary...much more economical than a divorce. However, if the marriage truly has no future. Don't make it ugly or fight over fault. Set down, be respectful, act like adults, take the personalities out of the equation and treat the division of the marriage as if you were both third party arbitrators working toward a reasonable split. If there is a conflict which becomes a major issue, put it on the side and reach an agreement on more agreeable issues first. This will improve the process of later handling the more objectionable issues.

If the situation shows signs of getting out of hand, stop all debate at once and agree to met at some future date to allow a cooling off period.

If you can accomplish a reasonable agreement on your own you will both leave the marriage as stronger people not as presuming each other and yourselves as failures. An ugly split will most likely leave both of you with baggage you will carry throughout your lives and have a negative impact on your rational discussion making.

I know this is very difficult, but if the two of you can leave the relationship without the services of an attorney, your will each have more assets to split. Once you both invoke an attorney you have retained a professional who is trying to get each of you the most and all too often cause huge conflicts among the couple and children at any age. All the while the two attorney are laughing and playing golf with each other at the new Country Club the two of you have just paid their membership.

Also don't get mislead by advise from friends. They may mean well, but they have nothing to lose in the fight.

Good luck!!... it is tough....Keep your class throughout the entire split; whereas, your friends ,kids, family and you yourself will think more of the two of you....

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post #22 of 37 (permalink) Old 08-07-2015, 04:14 PM
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Re: divorce

Words of Wisdom
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post #23 of 37 (permalink) Old 08-07-2015, 04:36 PM
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Re: divorce

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janie
Quote:
Originally Posted by BCozhunter
Quote:
Originally Posted by Janie
Heck, I even walk in his house n say... Honey, I'm home! Just to watch him cringe!
Pure female evil right there!
When I'm there n he's mad, I ALWAYS offer to give him a hug! It sends him running every time.
Sheez, next thing you know you'll be standing over him when he awakes , just smiling.
He'd probably be in Canada in about an hour and a half

Carve your successes in stone ,
Leave your failures in the sand.
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post #24 of 37 (permalink) Old 08-07-2015, 11:24 PM
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Re: divorce

never been thru one, but as far as the financial aspects go, it's the same as most other legal dealings.

the pie is this big. it can't get any bigger, but it can get much smaller. how much do you want to give to strangers?(attorneys)

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post #25 of 37 (permalink) Old 08-08-2015, 12:55 AM
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Re: divorce

Quote:
Originally Posted by camohunter7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Janie
Quote:
Originally Posted by BCozhunter
Quote:
Originally Posted by Janie
Heck, I even walk in his house n say... Honey, I'm home! Just to watch him cringe!
Pure female evil right there!
When I'm there n he's mad, I ALWAYS offer to give him a hug! It sends him running every time.
Sheez, next thing you know you'll be standing over him when he awakes , just smiling.
He'd probably be in Canada in about an hour and a half
There have been times since the divorce that I've been the first person he sees coming out of his bedroom and he asks me, *** you doin here?! I just laugh.

Uh Oh! Janie's got her gun!
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post #26 of 37 (permalink) Old 08-08-2015, 02:34 PM
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Re: divorce

You must got one understaning husband that would tolerate that.
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post #27 of 37 (permalink) Old 08-08-2015, 03:39 PM
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Re: divorce

To get a handle on worth of material possessions , my ex and I hired an auctioneer We had a list of items we bought after being married ( family heirlooms " NOT " involved ) that we wanted to keep . The auctioneer put a value on each item . We then had to figure out an even value split . The only item I feel I got screwed on was the 32 ft. swimming pool . She obviously was keeping it since she would be buying me out to keep the house . Pool was worth $7,500 . Auctioneer put a $800.00 price on it because that would be it's value if being relocated after an auction ...

I do have to admit , I probably would not be where I am today without 11yrs of marital assets ( we both had good jobs ) . The buyout and assets I got to keep put me in a decent small house closer to family & work . And a WHOLE new understanding of when I said " I DO ' she said , I USED TO " ! ! !
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post #28 of 37 (permalink) Old 08-08-2015, 08:01 PM
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Re: divorce

Quote:
Originally Posted by good ole boy
You must got one understaning husband that would tolerate that.
My husband still goes to his ex wife's house when his son is there n my kids still live at my ex husband's house. All joking aside, if I'm there, I'm not there to see dillhole. I'm there to See my kids. It just so happens if I get a chance to urk him by offering him hugs, I'm going to. He's a very unhappy, angry, and evil man. The only way to truly get under his skin is to kill him,with kindness, even after all the [censored].

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post #29 of 37 (permalink) Old 08-09-2015, 12:15 AM
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Re: divorce

Quote:
Originally Posted by Born2Hunt
Quote:
Originally Posted by AgesofDays
has anyone one gone through a divorce that can offer some advice?
Advise: If there is a chance to save the marriage I would recommend to do so...use professionals if necessary...much more economical than a divorce. However, if the marriage truly has no future. Don't make it ugly or fight over fault. Set down, be respectful, act like adults, take the personalities out of the equation and treat the division of the marriage as if you were both third party arbitrators working toward a reasonable split. If there is a conflict which becomes a major issue, put it on the side and reach an agreement on more agreeable issues first. This will improve the process of later handling the more objectionable issues.

If the situation shows signs of getting out of hand, stop all debate at once and agree to met at some future date to allow a cooling off period.

If you can accomplish a reasonable agreement on your own you will both leave the marriage as stronger people not as presuming each other and yourselves as failures. An ugly split will most likely leave both of you with baggage you will carry throughout your lives and have a negative impact on your rational discussion making.

I know this is very difficult, but if the two of you can leave the relationship without the services of an attorney, your will each have more assets to split. Once you both invoke an attorney you have retained a professional who is trying to get each of you the most and all too often cause huge conflicts among the couple and children at any age. All the while the two attorney are laughing and playing golf with each other at the new Country Club the two of you have just paid their membership.

Also don't get mislead by advise from friends. They may mean well, but they have nothing to lose in the fight.

Good luck!!... it is tough....Keep your class throughout the entire split; whereas, your friends ,kids, family and you yourself will think more of the two of you....
Sage advice, this.

Hunting: 10% skill and 90% location.
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post #30 of 37 (permalink) Old 08-09-2015, 01:37 AM
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Re: divorce

Quote:
Originally Posted by Born2Hunt
Quote:
Originally Posted by AgesofDays
has anyone one gone through a divorce that can offer some advice?
Advise: If there is a chance to save the marriage I would recommend to do so...use professionals if necessary...much more economical than a divorce. However, if the marriage truly has no future. Don't make it ugly or fight over fault. Set down, be respectful, act like adults, take the personalities out of the equation and treat the division of the marriage as if you were both third party arbitrators working toward a reasonable split. If there is a conflict which becomes a major issue, put it on the side and reach an agreement on more agreeable issues first. This will improve the process of later handling the more objectionable issues.

If the situation shows signs of getting out of hand, stop all debate at once and agree to met at some future date to allow a cooling off period.

If you can accomplish a reasonable agreement on your own you will both leave the marriage as stronger people not as presuming each other and yourselves as failures. An ugly split will most likely leave both of you with baggage you will carry throughout your lives and have a negative impact on your rational discussion making.

I know this is very difficult, but if the two of you can leave the relationship without the services of an attorney, your will each have more assets to split. Once you both invoke an attorney you have retained a professional who is trying to get each of you the most and all too often cause huge conflicts among the couple and children at any age. All the while the two attorney are laughing and playing golf with each other at the new Country Club the two of you have just paid their membership.

Also don't get mislead by advise from friends. They may mean well, but they have nothing to lose in the fight.

Good luck!!... it is tough....Keep your class throughout the entire split; whereas, your friends ,kids, family and you yourself will think more of the two of you....
Very good advice..............if it's possible.

Sometimes, though, it's worth 10x what the attorneys charge to be rid of someone. Just remember.............. it costs a WHOLE LOT more to get rid of her than it does to keep her.

demokraten saugen
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