Joke of the Day 4/26/15 - The HuntingPA.com Outdoor Community
 
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-26-2015, 02:12 PM Thread Starter
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Joke of the Day 4/26/15

A Retired Person's Perspective


1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just
saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands.
If they are holding a gun, she's probably ticked off.

4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers.
Now they drink like their fathers.

5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone
you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.

6. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word
"premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

7. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.

8. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim.
I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

9. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers.
If you find one, what's your plan?

10. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.



Itís funny until somebody gets hurt, then itís hilarious
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-26-2015, 02:39 PM
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Re: Joke of the the 4/26/15

one more..
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.

I'm so far behind I think I'm in first place.
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-26-2015, 03:50 PM
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Re: Joke of the the 4/26/15

That significant pay raise to the JOTD staff has recently helped your JOTD material, don't you think..Your approval rating much higher now than Obama's.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-26-2015, 04:03 PM
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Re: Joke of the the 4/26/15

Pay raise ?!?!?!?!...

Your never to old to learn something stupid
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-26-2015, 05:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Joke of the the 4/26/15

Quote:
Originally Posted by RonM
That significant pay raise to the JOTD staff has recently helped your JOTD material, don't you think..Your approval rating much higher now than Obama's.
Yes. The staff is much happier too.

Itís funny until somebody gets hurt, then itís hilarious
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-26-2015, 05:09 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Joke of the the 4/26/15

Quote:
Originally Posted by buzz
Pay raise ?!?!?!?!...
Memo to JOTD staff members.

Pay raises are performance based. Sooooo.................

Itís funny until somebody gets hurt, then itís hilarious
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-26-2015, 06:54 PM
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Re: Joke of the Day 4/26/15

11. Never pick a fight with an old man. If he knows he can't beat you, he'll just shoot you.

Shoot straight

People are sick of politicians, and me, I hate cats in the house.
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-26-2015, 09:23 PM
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Re: Joke of the Day 4/26/15

Quote:
Originally Posted by BCozhunter
11. Never pick a fight with an old man. If he knows he can't beat you, he'll just shoot you.
Im going to have a shirt made with that on it......THANKS

My ability to remember lyrics from songs of the 60's far exceed my ability to remember why I walked into the kitchen
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-26-2015, 11:20 PM
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Re: Joke of the Day 4/26/15

Size XL Tall, thanks
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