A man was telling his buddy: "You won't believe what happened last night."
My daughter walked into the living room and said: "Dad, do not pay off my
college tuition loan, cancel my allowance, throw away all my clothes and take my
iPhone and laptop. In addition, please take all of my jewelry to Salvation Army.
Then, sell my car, take my front door key away from me and lock me out of
your house. Then, disown me and never talk to me again.
And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to anyone
"Holy Smokes", replied the friend, "She actually said that?"
The father replied: "Well, she didn't actually put it quite like that."
What she said was,: "Dad, meet my new boyfriend, Mohammed. We're going to work together on Hillary's 2016 election campaign."