curtain rods - The HuntingPA.com Outdoor Community
 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 12:54 PM Thread Starter
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curtain rods

CURTAIN RODS ---

On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.
On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table, by candlelight; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring water.
When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the curtain rods.
He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss.
Then, slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing out the place.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. . . Nothing worked!
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.
Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were going. She told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.
Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth ... but only if he would sign the papers that very day.

He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.

A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home ......
and to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

I'm so far behind I think I'm in first place.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 03:27 PM
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Re: curtain rods

He hung her out to dry! Love it!

William will you teach me how to write, Cassius will you show me how to fight.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 03:56 PM
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Re: curtain rods

Lol good story,,,I used Vienna sausage, didn't work so well
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-09-2015, 12:25 PM
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Re: curtain rods

A loooong time ago, me and some pals were staying in the mountains for a few days on a fishing excursion. Well, being young, and influenced by mind-altering things, we thought it would be "neat" to see if the springs under the seat of my buddy's truck, could actually turn a Trout into "Trout Nuggets" for the frying pan. Well, I know it may not be so nice to do to a Trout, or even a buddy for that matter, but into the springs goes a Trout. We had planned on checking the next day, and completely forgot.... and forgot.... and forgot. He had to sell the Truck.

2A-Wash. Co.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-09-2015, 04:33 PM
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Re: curtain rods

mind-altering things?????

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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-09-2015, 04:38 PM
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Re: curtain rods

Quote:
Originally Posted by Born2Hunt
mind-altering things?????

Women.
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