JOTD day writer - The HuntingPA.com Outdoor Community
 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-18-2015, 02:36 PM Thread Starter
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JOTD day writer

Could I get one of the high paying positions on the writing staff? With material like this?
A minister dies and, resplendent in his clerical collar and colorful robes, waits in line at the Pearly Gates. Just ahead of him is a guy dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The guy replies, "I'm Joe Green, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City."

Saint Peter consults his list, smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff, and enter into the Kingdom."

So the taxi-driver enters Heaven with his robe and staff, and the minister is next in line. Without being asked, he proclaims, "I am Michael O'Connor, head pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."

Saint Peter consults his list and says, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the preacher, "that man was a taxi-driver, and you issued him a silken robe and golden staff. But I get wood and cotton. How can this be?"

"Up here, we go by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept -- while he drove, people prayed."
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-18-2015, 02:44 PM
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Re: JOTD day writer

I got confused at the word " resplendent ".......and could not really follow the joke after that.............

Maybe that's why I didn't get hired on at JOTD.............

Your never to old to learn something stupid
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-18-2015, 03:18 PM
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Re: JOTD day writer

That joke is resplendent with.......Wait, what does resplendent mean again?

Itís funny until somebody gets hurt, then itís hilarious
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-18-2015, 04:29 PM
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Re: JOTD day writer

Zackly......you can't just throw a word like resplendent out there with out splainen it..............

Your never to old to learn something stupid
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-19-2015, 01:26 AM Thread Starter
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Re: JOTD day writer

I was told to match my material to my audience. So I took all the big words out of this one. I hope you two (2) understand it.

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the ship watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old man overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find him. So the captain sent the old woman back to shore with the promise that he would notify her as soon as they found something.

Three weeks went by and finally the old woman got a fax from the ship. It read: "Ma'am, sorry to inform you, we found your husband dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled him up to the deck and attached to his back end was an oyster and inside the oyster was a pearl worth $50,000....please advise."

The old woman faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap."
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-19-2015, 02:01 AM
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Re: JOTD day writer

This JOTD competition may have some merit..
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