Red Squirrels: Tales of Woe, Intrigue & Humor - The Outdoor Community
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 01:36 PM Thread Starter
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Red Squirrels: Tales of Woe, Intrigue & Humor


From 1999 - 2002 I worked for Mac Tools having my own tool route. From then until 2004 I ran an independent tool route.
I mention that because the Mac Tools truck I drove had an alarm that Mac wanted me setting every night, which I did for a while.
Sometimes I would hear the alarm set and chirp at odd times. One weekend I went away and when I came home the neighbor
told me that 6am Sunday morning the alarm kept going off and there was no way to shut it off. It finally reset itself. I apologized
and told him the next time I went away I would leave him the fob to reset the alarm.

It turns out that the alarm was being tripped my pine cones calling onto the cab and box of the truck. I always parked under this large
pine in our yard. So I didn't think much the cones falling after all gravity is still in effect, thank God. What I didn't know is that gravity
had an evil assistant...a red squirrel. This squirrel was so evil in fact that he often tried hitting ME on the way out to the truck.
I named said squirrel "The Evil One" because I had believed that this squirrel was no ordinary squirrel. It was spawned by the Devil

At that time of my life we didn't have any weapons of rodent destruction so I went out and bought my oldest son and I 2 Gamo
air rifles. He and I sighted them in and then went out to practice on chipmunks. I can tell you that a pointed lead .177 pellet
traveling at a rated 1000 fps dispatches chips in a very nice manner.

Now we have our weapons and some field experience all it took was for the Evil One to manifest in the yard again and I
will send him down to the fiery nut roaster.

Later that Fall I opened the door and he was in the little lilac tree in the front yard...calling ME out! I shut the door and
grabbed my Hunter 220, cocked it and inserted the pointed lead of his doom. Thinking I would trick him I went to the other front door and opened it slowly.
I slid out the rifle and put him in the crosshairs. My heart was racing knowing that the war between the most evil and fowl red
squirrels to ever live in NW Pa will be assuming room temperature soon. Crosshairs on his head and ready to squeeze...then
he used his red squirrel mind tricks one me causing me to doubt my abilities to shoot accuarately so I moved the crosshairs to his chest.

Squeezing the trigger I see the Evil One fall from the lilac to the ground. YES! (with fist pump)

Then I couldn't believe my eyes. HE GOT UP and started limp running. From what I could see I shot him through the right shoulder.
I couldn't cock that air rifle and load it fast enough.

I saw the Evil One from time to time. He still had his limp and he didn't make those fantastic aerobatic leaps from one tall pine to another
anymore but one thing for sure is he never came with in terminal range of that barrel break air rifle again.

The Evil One did what he had to do, he spawn more evil offspring. By then I was being teased by my kids as I told the tale of the vile and
fearsome rodent so I gave up on the war and my next door neighbor had trapped and did whatever to them. He was so
efficient with this that it has been a long time since I have seen a red squirrel on the property. Then it happened.
As my youngest son, now 15, was walking out to catch bus a lone pine cone fell from the tree. Aaron looks up to see
one of the Evil One's great grand squirrels taunting him with that evil white encircled black eye.

Then yesterday I went out to do some work on the truck and yet another spawn of nastiness came running out from under the Expedition,
leaped onto the tall pine, ran up it 10 feet and around the back side onto a limb and starred me down. Standing there frozen
in hoped to lull him into a false sense of security I waited for a minute. Then I put the things down I was carrying, went inside
the house, unlocked the gun safe and grabbed my Taurus 94 and a speed loader. Although blood was not drawn yesterday
the war is still on and this time I have able bodied recruits ready to stamp out evil with goodness and rim fires.
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 02:54 PM
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Re: Red Squirrels: Tales of Woe, Intrigue & Humor

where is the darn pop corn emoticon?

The deer didn't disappear.... the 250,000 guys who used to walk around and make the deer move did.
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 03:05 PM
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Re: Red Squirrels: Tales of Woe, Intrigue & Humor

neat story with a nice bit of humor BUT you need to read the rules digest and take note of a few things
1. Squirrel seasons
2. Legal Firearms for squirrels
3. Chipmunks are not legal game

You might be opening yourself up for some trouble with the post.

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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-25-2011, 06:50 PM
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Re: Red Squirrels: Tales of Woe, Intrigue & Humor

I always wondered if laws surrounding 'pest control' were different.. esp out in the northwest of our fine commonwealth I'm sure it's not the kind of thing people form task forces to stomp out!

Plinkin, I have seen one red squirrel in my day, and he got a load of No. 5 before he could bare his fangs! Just be sure that if you ever get the feller, you have the ground cleansed where he falls or nothing will ever grow there

- Rabid Groundhog
...who can't hardly wait to get back out into the field
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-02-2011, 11:43 PM
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Re: Red Squirrels: Tales of Woe, Intrigue & Humor

quick...someone get his IP before this post is deleted...and pass that dang popcorn emoticon...STAT!

Feral Cats are God's version of Ballistic Gelatin. - anonymous from another forum
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-24-2011, 01:42 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Red Squirrels: Tales of Woe, Intrigue & Humor

I am not sure why I didn't get your replies fellas but I didn't none the less. I would like to add some input here though.

For what it is worth when I and my son set out to the neighbors woods to use chipmunks as target practice I was unaware they were protected. I think it is insane that they are and can't imagine why they are but they are none the less.

Also I understand that air rifles are not legal for hunting in PA, again I have to ask why since Ohio and New York not only allow them but NY states simply the minimum specs needed to qualify a hunting air rifle. Add that both states allow the use of semi auto rim fires. With that being mentioned I heard from one of the local game officers that PA is considering the use of semi auto rim fires for woodchuck hunting. Personally I am for their use in small game as long as the shooter doesn't engage in rapid fire.

Seasons and pest control: although I would prefer to take game legally with in the seasons I have to consider when I am awakened by a red squirrel that gets into my bedroom and my cat is trying to get it during the middle of Summer (many years ago) a line is then drawn in the sand. This is one example, there have been several home invasions of reds.

Also when raccoons force their way into my chicken coop to kill some of our brood, I am not going to sit and decide that they are out of season and I need to lick my wounds, this also applies to Opossums.

Now if a deer is eating or bedding in my garden, this happened last year, I am NOT going to shoot it. I'll just scare it off. I don't consider deer pests. I have yet to see a deer in any of the pines dropping cones on my head and then laughing.

In the last 15 years I have personally dispatched 3 squirrels and 3 chips, one huge ground hog, 2 possums and one rabbit. The chips were not pests as I had previously stated and now that I know they are protected I don't bother with them. I'll have to hunt Ohio since there is no closed season on chips. I said this to say I obviously am not putting a hurt on the population of wildlife on my property. I do appreciate you bringing to my attention to refer to the digest but I already knew everything pertaining to what was said with the exception of the chipmunks which I had learned in late winter of this year. I think the reason I had gone after those chippies 10 years ago was because I have memory that there used to be no closed season on chipmunks, I may be wrong but I think 20+ years ago they were open year round. I recall talking to a co worker over 15 years ago how he and some of his buddies would hunt them during the summer to sharpen their shooting skills. They made a game of it, who ever shot the most was treated to a free lunch from the one who shot the least.

Anyway, thanks for reading my story.
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-24-2011, 01:44 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Red Squirrels: Tales of Woe, Intrigue & Humor

Perhaps I am to new here to understand but there was 2 comments pertaining to the popcorn emoticon. What does that mean?
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-24-2011, 02:02 AM
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Re: Red Squirrels: Tales of Woe, Intrigue & Humor

Pretty much means going to kick back and watch how this post turns out....... usually controversial

“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.”
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-24-2011, 02:38 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Red Squirrels: Tales of Woe, Intrigue & Humor

Awwww gotcha, thanks
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-25-2011, 12:36 AM
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Re: Red Squirrels: Tales of Woe, Intrigue & Humor

I liked your story but you gotta watch what you say because of the Internet Police we have here

My name is Moss and i'm a turkey huntin' addict

I'm itchin' to see a red fox twitchin!
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