BREAKING NEWS: NEW WORLD RECORD TRICERATOPS TAKEN IN RUSSIA!
Breaking news unfolds as Russian hunter lays down potential world record Triceratops.
What started out as a typical hunt has quickly turned into a dream come true for this Russian hunter. Asking to stay anonymous until the media attention dies down and the record is officially confirmed, this hunter may find himself in the books after harvesting a possible world record Triceratops.
After glassing a few bluffs in the early morning fog, the hunter noticed some movement down below in the thick brush but was unable to see what exactly was bedded below.
All he could tell is that it was big.
Formulating a plan, he moved back down the bluff he’d come from and circled the ravine, trying to get downwind of the animal to cover his scent. After getting to where he wanted, he waited, hoping the animal would soon get up to feed. To his surprise, the Triceratops appeared from the brush just moments later. That’s when he knew he was onto something special.
Although his Triceratops sightings had been few and far between, the hunter had seen enough to know this one was mature and huge in size. The rut was in full swing, and the male Triceratops was with a female in heat, running and chasing all over the tundra. After multiple attempts to get the animal stopped for a clean shot, the Triceratops had moved out of range.
Distraught, the hunter thought he had missed out on a chance of a lifetime. He decided then to begin a spot and stalk in the direction of where the pair were headed, still hoping to track down the monster.
After a three-hour spot and stalk, the hunter got within range and fought to calm his nerves.
He squeezed the trigger and watched the creature run about 80 yards before toppling over.
“I’ve never experienced anything like it,” he said. “I’ve hunted whitetail, caribou, elk, and even a few bear in my day, but chasing this animal is like nothing else.”
Currently, wildlife officers and biologists have the dinosaur in their possession for research and scoring.
At a whopping 32 feet and three inches long, 10 feet two inches tall, and an absurd 25,974-pound weigh-in, this harvest is sure to crush the previous world record. The two horns measured over four feet long each. He’s a true trophy, and based on the measurements, they are guessing his age at over 82 million. Mature for sure.
When we asked the hunter his thoughts on the whole ordeal, he showed surprising restraint. All he had to say was, “Now I have to figure out what kind of mount I want, and where it could even fit in my house…”
“…or if the wife will even approve,” he chuckled.
This is amazing, to say the least, and it brings a whole new meaning to “Big Game Hunting.”
P.S., If you realized this was a joke, congratulations: you’re smarter than all the people who thought Donald Trump Jr. killed and endangered Triceratops. And all the people who thought Steven Spielberg killed one, too.
BREAKING NEWS: New World Record Triceratops Taken in Russia!