Re: Weights question
The toned look you are seeking comes from a combination of increased muscle mass and lower bodyfat percentages. The reason many people fail to get that toned look is because they lack adequate muscle mass in the first place. The higher reps lower weight equals toned look mantra is mainly a myth. It can be done that way, but it is not going to be the most effective means, as this type of training is better suited towards muscular endurance.
There is a lot of research that concludes maximum hypertrophy occurs while using moderate to heavy weights working in the 6-12 rep range. Lower rep ranges in the 1-8 rep range are more effective for strength training.
With that said, I'd recommend that you stick to the proven muscle building rep range I mentioned above. Don't worry, I promise that you will not look like the incredible hulk after a few months, but you should see the muscle definition you're after.
As far as programming, I'd suggest that you avoid the one body part per week type routines that are so common. Most beginners and novices cant handle the volume of work necessary to make those programs effective. IMO, You would be better suited to try to hit each body part twice a week. For instance, if you plan to lift 4 days a week you could have two different workouts like Workout A - Chest, Shoulders, and Tris, then Workout B - Back, Bis, and Core. You would then alternate the workouts and do ABAB each week.
Keep your workouts centered around the compound lifts ( think presses, rows, deadlifts, pullups,ect.) and use barbells or dumbbells as much as possible. Machine variations are ok, but they reduce the involvement of stabilizer muscles and will limit muscle recruitment during the movement.
Most of all, have fun with it! You will be much more likely to stick with it, if you enjoy it.